The Art of Receiving: Why Letting Go is the Key to More Pleasure
As high-achieving women, we’re conditioned to be in control. We excel in our careers, manage families, juggle multiple responsibilities, and often, we forget how to let go—especially when it comes to pleasure. Many of us have grown accustomed to working hard to earn love, success, or satisfaction, and when it comes to receiving pleasure, we often take the same approach. We try to "do" pleasure, rather than simply allow ourselves to experience it. But what if the key to deeper satisfaction isn’t about doing more, but about letting go?
The Nervous System’s Role in Receptivity
To understand why letting go is so crucial to receiving pleasure, we need to look at the nervous system. Our bodies are wired to respond to stimuli in ways that either open us to pleasure or close us off. When we're in “fight or flight” mode, which is common in high-achieving individuals, our bodies are in survival mode. In this state, it's difficult to relax and surrender, which is why we may feel disconnected from our ability to receive.
The autonomic nervous system (ANS) governs how we respond to stress and pleasure. It operates in two main modes: sympathetic (fight or flight) and parasympathetic (rest and digest). When we're constantly in sympathetic mode, which can happen in the busy, high-stress lives of many women, it’s almost impossible to relax fully and open to pleasure. The body is preparing for action, not for receiving.
The key to unlocking deeper pleasure is activating the parasympathetic nervous system. When we enter this state, our bodies are calm, relaxed, and receptive. We are able to let go and receive—not just pleasure, but also emotional connection, love, and nourishment. This is where somatics comes into play.
Is letting go the key to pleasure?
Your Nervous System plays a bigger part in your pleasure than you might think
How Somatics Helps You Open to Pleasure
Somatic practices focus on connecting to and cultivating awareness of the body. When we incorporate somatic techniques, like breathwork, body scanning, and movement, we can shift the nervous system from a stressed state into a more relaxed and receptive one. Here are some ways somatics helps open the body to receive pleasure:
Body Awareness: Through somatic awareness, you begin to tune into the sensations in your body. Instead of rushing through your day or constantly being in your head, you develop the ability to notice subtle feelings in your body—tightness, warmth, openness, or relaxation. By bringing awareness to your body, you create a channel for pleasure to flow.
Breathwork: Deep, slow breathing activates the vagus nerve, which is a key player in the parasympathetic nervous system. Breathing deeply into your belly or chest helps release tension and signals to the body that it's safe to relax. With each breath, you can begin to soften your muscles, allowing the body to let go and receive more pleasure.
Movement: Somatic movement, whether it’s through dance, stretching, or yoga, helps to release stored tension in the body. As you move, you create space in the body to feel more grounded and open. This can shift the nervous system and allow pleasure to flow more freely throughout your body.
Self-Pleasure Practices: Somatic self-pleasure practices focus on sensation rather than orgasm. By connecting with your body’s sensations and breath, you learn how to receive pleasure without the goal of achieving something. This creates an opportunity to embrace the moment and feel pleasure deeply.
Grounding Techniques: Grounding is the practice of reconnecting with the earth, often through simple movements like walking barefoot or visualising roots growing from your feet into the ground. Grounding practices bring you back to the present moment, making it easier to access your body’s natural capacity to relax and receive.
How to Cultivate Deeper Pleasure
Tune Into Your Body: Pleasure begins with awareness. Take time to notice how your body feels in different moments. When you’re stressed or tense, pleasure can feel distant. But when you slow down and connect with your body, you start to notice subtle sensations that can lead to deeper pleasure.
Breathe Into Your Pleasure: Breathing is one of the most powerful tools in accessing embodied pleasure. Slow, deep breaths help activate the parasympathetic nervous system, the "rest and digest" mode, which is crucial for receiving pleasure. With every breath, invite relaxation and openness.
Create a Ritual of Receiving: Make time for moments where you intentionally receive—whether that’s a self-pleasure practice, a massage, or simply being present with the pleasure of a hot bath or the warmth of the sun on your skin. Let go of the need to achieve something and just experience what’s available to you in that moment.
Embrace Stillness: Many women are so used to being on the go that slowing down feels foreign. But stillness can be a gateway to pleasure. Try sitting in silence, doing nothing, and allowing the energy of pleasure to gently flow in without expectations.
The Art of Receiving is about releasing the grip of constant doing and allowing yourself the space to just “be.” By tuning into your body and nervous system, you can learn how to receive more deeply, opening the door to pleasure, relaxation, and connection that has always been available to you.
Closing Thoughts
If you're ready to begin reconnecting with pleasure, it’s important to acknowledge that this is a practice. Just as we cultivate any skill, learning to receive is a journey. When approached with patience and a deep sense of trust, the art of receiving can transform how we experience pleasure—not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually too.
